Haliburton -

 

“We see this every year, but especially when...well frankly, the zucchini is amazing.” Said Detective Carl Mickleton. “There’s a repetitive syndrome that causes a normally otherwise sane person to become violent when they’re just trying to relax at the lake but a neighbour continually drones on about the quality of local produce.” 63 year-old, Graham Dort, was found bloodied and bruised at the property border between the two men’s cottages. He is expected to live. The attacker, who will not been named until specific charges are brought forward, was seen laughing as he was being driven away, screaming – “How’s that for quality produce?! Just shut the fuck up! No one cares!” Mickleton went on to say – “When we see the forecast calls for a wet summer, we realize it could be a violent one, when veggies and fruit become a certain size, we know it could be a very busy summer, don’t even get me started about September and corn.”