Paris -

 

“Clearly, this is a violation of the rules of competition.” Said a very stern spokesperson for the IOC. “This extra appendage would give any athlete a clear advantage and we look at this situation much as we would look at an athlete who took a performing enhancing drug. It doesn't matter that the growth was caused by what must be one hell of a chemical cocktail floating around that French toilet, but no matter. Rules are rules!” When asked if having a third arm would cause the swimmer to simply swim around in circles, the IOC said they would get back to us. French authorities continue to insist the Seine is perfectly fine to swim in, as long as it isn’t done when the river bursts into flame suddenly.