Bracebridge –

 

“Hey, tourism was dead during the pandemic and its time to welcome back American tourists with all the things that are getting scarce down south! Said 43 year-old Kyle Turpin, the local businessman who is the brains behind what he calls ‘The Ultimate Adventure.’ “Plus weed is legal here, so if you’re American, and interested in having a say about your own uterus, wanna lose a bit of weight, get high in front of a cop then go after the big ones, we’ve go a vacation deal for you!” The weekend packages start at $399.00 dollars for a couple for three nights, depending on your drugs of choice, but if you want meals included its $1199.00 a night. “Yeah, food prices are kinda outta control, so if you’re coming you might wanna throw some groceries in your trunk stateside!”