New York -

 

“I bought it during Covid!” Argued a frustrated Combs before he was remanded by the judge. “We were all buying in bulk! At least I wasn’t trying to make a profit off it like some assholes did with toilet paper!” The charges were brought after it was discovered that Combs garage was packed with industrial grade personal lubricant that was used at his “Freak-Offs.” Sex party’s that would last for days. Prosecutors were quick to point out that the lube was the really cheap stuff that gets all gummy. If found guilty, Combs could face jail time... where the Freak-Offs can last for years...and are of a different nature.