Grimsby –

 

Sources have confirmed that your friend, who’s cat-sitting, is indeed trashing you to your pet while you’re in Cancun. Hearing comments such as “Did they ask me if I wanted to go? Nooo, because they’re stupid, that’s why.” As the bad-mouthing becomes more consistent, and imaginative, the animal develops a bond with the sitter and it sets up an ‘us against them’ scenario, which is strengthened with treats and cuddles. “This is a seasonal envy disorder that’s becoming more common.” Said one animal behaviorist. “It accounts for the aloofness your cat displays when you return from your vacation. Your pet’s head has been filled with innuendo and lies. It also accounts for the massive amount of food left in your pets bowl when you return. It’s a guilt reflex the sitter feels after days of their behavior.”