Ottawa -

 

With their popularity sinking, the PM announced a new funding program to help Canadians... “The Scramble Program” will begin in early May. Hercules CC-130 Tactical Airlifters from the RCAF will drop bundles of cash in unannounced destinations for the entire summer. “We’re very excited about this program!” Said a spokesperson for Chrystia Freeland's office, “I mean, sure it’ll cost billions, but there will be a lot of happy voters out there, some of them might want to celebrate by paying a months rent, or buying cheese! If they scoop up enough scrambled cash.” Trudeau defended the program dismissing claims it was an immature, wildly irresponsible idea proposed by a desperate boy king.